Dear Friends,
I blame my faulty memory on many things – age, brain cells nearing capacity, too much new input coming in too quickly – perhaps you have some creative excuses that I could use. Memory is not logical or rational. Most of what is in our memory will never be brought to the level of consciousness. But everything that ever happens to us, everything we ever do, everything we experience becomes part of the substance of whom we are. It can be viewed as the means by which God continues to create us. And some things do remain very clear in the memory, as if they just happened.
This Second Sunday of Lent offers us the experience of the Transfiguration of Jesus. When Peter, James, and John saw Christ transfigured, Peter was so taken with the experience that he wanted to keep it. “Let us put up some tents,” he said. I love Peter’s impulsive behavior. Here he sees Moses in his glory, Elijah the great Old Testament prophet, and Christ transfigured. Of course he wants to stay! Have you ever seen anybody whose face shone like the sun and whose clothes were as white as light? “Rabbi, it is good that we are here,” he says in one of the more obvious statements in human history.
You can imagine how excited they were. I can see Peter turning to James and John saying, “Wait till we tell the others about this! Thomas will never believe it.” But Jesus blocks this desire. “Tell the vision to no one,” he says, “until the Son of Man is risen from the dead.” They had to keep it to themselves. They could tell no one. Not only did they witness this transfiguration, but the experience transformed them in the process. They would remember it forever.
None of us have been in the presence of the transfigured Christ, but most of us have experienced some sort of spiritual moment in which some of Christ’s glory was seen. True to form, it was probably fleeting. Probably we tried to repeat the experience. It can’t be done. We can’t put up a tent for the experience. But we can carry the experience with us. We can remember it with our conscious mind, and that’s a good idea. We can keep the memory to help us in those times when we are hurting and alone. All the more reason to make use of a journal to note our spiritual experiences and reflections.
Spiritual encounters will certainly be experienced more frequently if our hearts and minds are present to the encounter. Can we make ourselves more present to these moments? If we go to prayer with our spirits consumed by the anxieties of life or in a hurry or distracted by things when God tries to reveal something to us, we may miss it. It may also help us to remember those moments with Christ if they take place with hearts ready for the encounter. I can remember spiritual encounters from retreats when I was in college and graduate school as if they happened yesterday. Like Peter I really wanted to put up a tent and stay there, but that was impossible. Fortunately, I do have the memory and those memories help me on days when it feels like God is far away.
Anytime we are given a glimpse of a shard of Jesus’ glory reflecting into some distant corner of our souls, we always agree with Peter, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here.” We are changed by it. That is how our souls are formed and healed. May we treasure the memory that Jesus remains with us, even after the encounter, in the depth of our soul forever.
Peace,
Fr. Damian