Dear Friends,
I have felt the power of your prayers and the warmth of your love this past week as we began the work of recovery from the destruction of last Sunday’s break-in. As I have said so often this past week, I am happy to be among the living for a little while longer. I am so glad that the ending of this story is different from the one that happened in Fort Calhoun in December.
The difference is the loss of human life versus the loss of parish and personal property. I am able now to answer the question, “what did you give up for Lent?” with “most of what I owned.” I have often meditated over the years on a spiritual exercise that St. Ignatius encourages during the thirty-day retreat. The meditation involves using your imagination to see yourself walking away from your treasures. The goal of St. Ignatius is to get the retreatant to see that the only treasure that matters is God.
I love the concluding prayer of the thirty-day retreat. It is called The Suscipe. Written by St. Ignatius, it reads as follows: “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.” I have probably prayed that prayer several times a week since 1988 when I did my first thirty-day retreat. Over and over again, I have asked God to take all that I have and possess because they came from God as gifts. I was pretty sure that God was answering my prayer because my memory has certainly been fading as I age and, perhaps, I had lost some understanding as well because the world seemed to be getting more and more strange to me. This is the first time God has taken away all my possessions.
The woman who broke into the rectory Sunday morning had four hours to break everything made of glass or porcelain, to throw the tv, stereo and other electronics down a flight of steps, to rip apart paintings and destroy furniture in an effort to barricade herself in the rectory, safe from the police who were looking for her. She seemed to possess a need to make sure that the destruction was complete by using wine, beer and other liquids found in the kitchen cabinets to baptize the books, furniture, walls and flooring. On top of the immense damage that she did, the pepper spray and other chemicals used by the police to be able to apprehend her alive caused irreparable harm to carpets, clothing, and furniture.
The Paul Davis Company and Catholic Mutual Insurance who are handling the recovery effort do not think I will be able to return to the rectory for three to four months at the soonest. It is as if the rectory had burned down. The loss is almost total. The building and some books remain. “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess.”
“Give me your love and your grace, this is enough for me.” In these days following the break-in, I have certainly felt God’s love and grace. Much of God’s love I have felt through your love and care for me. Your words, your prayers, your hugs and tears, your offers to help have meant so much to me. I am deeply grateful. It is that same divine love that has accompanied me throughout this experience and allowed me to be at peace even in the midst of the challenges.
It is fascinating that I had chosen Job for our Bible Study this Lent. His quest to find meaning in the midst of incredible suffering is such a deep human need. While the Book of Job does not easily resolve the issue, it does encourage us to talk to God and keep God close during times of loss and pain. Jesus’ answer to the question of human suffering is to join us in the journey and to free us from the ultimate problem of death. Jesus offers us great hope because he offers us eternal life with him. That love and that grace are all that matters.
Peace,
Fr. Damian