Dear Friends,
This weekend we celebrate Mother’s Day. I want to begin by saying thank you to all the women who have accepted the responsibility of caring for children. It is such an important task. We all bear a debt to you. The gratitude children offer this weekend to our mothers barely begins to express what we truly owe to our mothers. We thank you and we love you.
Mothers instinctively tend to put everyone else first in their family. Their days are spent caring for people who are at times helpless to care for themselves. Having observed many, many mothers over the years, I would like to suggest that mothers sometimes forget to care for themselves. Even after their children are grown, they may still operate like they did when their children were little and helpless. They do not follow the wisdom we are taught when we hear the safety lecture before every takeoff – put on your own oxygen mask first, then put it on your child.
May I gently suggest that mothers need to take time for themselves, not only on this Mother’s Day, but on a regular basis. Remember when Mary and Martha had Jesus over as their guest, Jesus rebuked Martha. Caught up in the tasks she felt she must do to serve her guest, she forgot how much she needed to be present to truly receive from Jesus. Her sister, however, chose the better portion: having her soul fed listening to Jesus.
All of us need to feed our spirits. When we stop to feed our spirit, we acknowledge we are finite creatures who cannot do it all, who cannot survive on our own strength. Mothers, when you do pause to pray or to read spiritual works, you are giving your children a good example, of praying and spending time with the Lord.
Our minds and spirits need daily sustenance just as our bodies need daily nourishment. Without this, we become weak and undernourished in spirit and mind. When my spirit is starved, my stores of hope, peace, and grace become depleted. It is not wise to neglect to feed my heart with the grace of God; starving myself only makes my spirit weaker. We cannot grow to be more like Christ if we don’t know him. And we won’t know who Jesus is if we don’t spend time with him.
In the marriage prep discussions, one of the items for discussion is a question about finding the balance between the needs of children with the needs of the couple’s relationship. My goal in those discussions is to have the couple come to the understanding that the greatest gift they can give to their children is their love for each other. Their love for each other will create a home for their children which is filled with peace, kindness, security and joy. Yes, their individual time with their children may be less but the blessings are so much more. In the same way, mothers need to take time to grow spiritually, to receive God’s graces, and rest in the loving arms of God. “Put on your oxygen mask first.”
Your family may be doing things for you this weekend expressing their deep love for you. Count on that love every day and not just this weekend, then take time to be with the Lord. Trust your spiritual growth will be a powerful gift to all who know you.
Peace,
Fr. Damian