Dear Friends,
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads in the parish! We are delighted to be honoring you today and the important role you play in the lives of your children. You deserve our gratitude and our praise. On Thursday of this week I went to a symposium hosted by United Way and the main speaker was Robert Putnam, a sociologist, who recently published a book entitled Our Kids.
Putnam is able to combine thorough research and great story telling to help us understand what is happening in our culture. Putnam said, “Generalizations are dangerous; many single parents are doing a terrific job under difficult circumstances…however, on average, children from single-parent families do worse in school and in life.” He wanted those of us to see the great disparity that is happening in our country. Telling the truth is not incompatible with compassion, and we are doing no one any favors by refusing to face facts. In fact, children are suffering. And so is the future of our country — for everyone.
One of the facts Putnam presen s is this: Mom and Dad make for opportunities. “In the upper, college-educated third of American society,” Putnam said, “most kids today live with two parents, and such families nowadays typically have two incomes. In the lower, high-school-educated third, however, most kids live with at most one of their biological parents, and in fact, many live in a kaleidoscopic, multi-partner or blended family, but rarely with more than one wage earner. Scores of studies have shown that bad outcomes for kids are associated with the pattern now characteristic of the lower tier, whereas many good outcomes for kids are associated with the new pattern typical of the upper tier.” Putnam emphasized again and again during the talk, that this new pattern has nothing to do with race, but with income levels.
He continued: “Children who grow up without their biological father perform worse on standardized tests, earn lower grades, and stay in school for fewer years, regardless of race and class. They are also more likely to demonstrate behavioral problems such as shyness and aggression, and psychological problems such as increased anxiety and depression. Children who spend part of their childhood in a single-mother home are more likely to have sex earlier and to become young, single parents, re-creating the cycle.” While moms are striving hard, raising a child works best in a two parent home – see how important you are dads!
In his book, Our Kids, he gives a detailed picture of what goes wrong for those on the lower end of the opportunity scale. “I want us to start a movement,” Putnam said, “in which we worry about all the kids in our community because I think it would be better for all of us, because I think it is morally right, because it would be good for our democracy and because . . . in principle it ought to unite all of us…This is the core challenge facing our country. If we don’t fix this problem we are not going to be one country. Giving every child a fair chance in life is not just morally right, but economically. If you think that helping other people’s kids is going to hurt your kids, you’re wrong. Our country will be richer, not just spiritually, but economically, if we invest in poor kids.”
As I listened to him speak, I thought often about the wonderful work that is happening at All Saints School and the commitment we make as a parish to support this school where we are changing the lives of these young people. We understand that, even though most of those children are not parishioners here at St. Frances Cabrini, they are Our Kids. We are one family caring for each other. If it is not possible for a child to have a well-educated two-parent family, then the rest of us need to step in and fill the gap. All Saints School is one way of doing that. Parenting is twenty-four hours a day hard work. Thanks to the moms and dads who do it well.
Happy Father’s Day!
Peace,
Fr. Damian