Dear Friends,
While it is so important to honor our mothers and to say thank you to them for all they have done for us, I have come to feel like this one-day-a-year event is either at best insufficient or at worst insulting. I look back at the cards and gifts I gave my mother over the years and they simply do not do justice to the incredible gift of time and energy she put into raising me and my five siblings. Can any of us ever truly understand the sacrifices our parents made to raise us? Maybe it is only when we reach adulthood and become parents ourselves that we start to comprehend all the thousands of little things that are done each day for a child. I know that mothers do those countless things for their children without expecting any return other than love, but we should be able to say “happy Mother’s Day” in ways that do not trivialize the relationship.
I would love to hear from the mothers in the parish as to what gifts or words from your children truly touched your heart and helped you to know that they appreciated all the love you showered down on them. Perhaps, you have never expected anything from your children. You loved them unconditionally and the best gift you received was that they became outstanding adults who have loved their own children in turn. Even if that is the case, was there an expression of love that warmed your heart and made it leap with joy? Maybe it was simply a look or somehow letting you know the person they became was the result of what you taught them.
Perfect people do not exist. Perfect mothers do not exist. When it comes to honoring our mothers, we may have a tendency to recall their shortcomings, the mistakes they made when we were young. Those same mistakes may have stood in the way of our being able to satisfactorily thank our mothers for the gift they were and are to us. Maybe, one of the adequate gifts we could give to our mothers for Mother’s Day would be our forgiveness for the mistakes they made along the way in shaping us into the people we are today.
The bond between a mother and her child is a strong connection that develops on day one when the baby is in her womb. She feels every kick during the nine months. A baby shares her mother’s heartbeat. She is fed and nurtured by her very body and absorbs the oxygen that she breathes. Mothers give more than mere vitamins; mothers give their whole being.
Her love blossoms as she feeds her child. She holds him in her arms, teaches him where to look, how to listen, how to walk, how to spell his very first words…she is speechless as she watches him move and while he is sleeping. Sometimes she secretly places her finger under his nostrils to make sure he is still breathing.
When her child falls sick, she feels agony, and wishes the pain was hers. She longs to share her child’s illness and pain. Her heart follows her child everywhere he goes, and happily carries his troubles on her shoulders. She guides with love and tries to keep misery away.
At my mother’s funeral, I described the love I felt from my mother as “fierce”. As with wild animals, you do not want to come between a mother and child. In my life, the responsibilities of being a pastor led me into caring for my flock where I tangled publicly with elected officials. I know that my mother did not always understand what I was up to, but I knew she would always defend me to anyone who might try to tear me down. She had my back. Come what may, her love was fierce. It may have embarrassed me at times but it was real and it came from deep inside of her.
To all of the women in the parish who have had the pleasure and the challenge of parenting a child, we say from the depths of our hearts, “thank you”. May you feel some satisfaction today for this God given gift and task. Hear in the depths of your heart God whispering, “well done, good and faithful mom.”
Peace,
Fr. Damian